I don't think I have words that truly describe the emotion of the end or what I feel when everyone reminds me that I'm now down to days! When I think of endings a quote always comes to mind from Elder Uchtdorf, "In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.” To that I can truly say “Amen”, because every part of me right now is trying to resist the idea of my mission coming to an end. The thought of not waking up every morning at 6:30 am, putting on a name tag, and walking out the door to face whatever the world has to throw at us that day, is really hard for me to comprehend. I guess a part of me had grown to believe that this day would NEVER come and another part of me was praying it was somehow true. Being a missionary though is something that I know will never end. The only ending I'm really facing is the fact that I'm leaving Mexico, which I now believe to be the greatest country in the world! But the end does not mean I'll forget. It does not mean that I won't say a thousand times, “One time on my mission….” It will just mean a change up!
Oh and what a change up it will be. I think its going to take a couple of weeks for my mind to wrap around the idea of washing machines, technology, hot water coming directly from the pipe, not having an aisle dedicated to oil in the super market (and then another aisle dedicated to mayo, another to beans, and another to rice), not having to shower out of a bucket, flush toilets, everyone having their own cars, asking for water and not getting flavor options, and about a million other things that I just crazy love about Mexico. I can honestly say that the mission grants us a chance to feel a love so full and so pure that it can only be called charity. Never in my life have I ever been so concerned about the older women trying to carry her groceries or the young man sitting alone on the street corner. Never have I gazed at a family and instantly thought how much happier they would be if they had the gospel in their lives and then walked right over and shared it with them. The mission doesn’t just make us believers, it makes us doers! Doers of good continuously, in every situation, in every thought. We make the good out of everything and even if all of our last plans fall through, we just keep smiling and think of a thousand more people we could help with the magical extra time the Lord has given us.
But as Uchtdorf so greatly puts it, “Endings are not our destiny. The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.” And truly there is no ending at all. I am merely graduating from an 18 month missionary to a Forever Disciple and I believe that to be a truly golden prize! Nothing will ever erase the work I have done here. More importantly, nothing will ever erase the mighty change of heart the mission has blessed me with. I will never falter, I will never yield. I truly know with all my heart that my Heavenly Father's love is real. He lives. He hears and answers every prayer and is so willing and ready to bless us. I know that Jesus Christ truly is my Redeemer, He is my Exemplar, He is my Best Friend. He is the only one who can carry me on and has done so more times then I can count. I know that due to their never ending love for us, God and Jesus Christ, have restored all the same truths that Jesus Christ taught when He was on the earth in our day. I know that those restored truths exist here, in the one and only true church on the face of the earth, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that Their only desire is for us to return to their presence again one day. I know that the joy we feel on that day will be truly perfect as we enter into the embrace of that loving family who has waited so long to see us! His plan is perfect and I will be forever grateful for the chance he has given me, a weak, imperfect servant, to take part in the greater plan that He has for the people of Mexico. I will choose to forever be the servant He has molded me to be!
Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing. (2 Tim. 4:7-8)
See ya Monday,
|My family will understand this one:)|